Network News - October 20, 2017
Capital Baptist News

Network News - October 20, 2017



Pastor's and Minister's wives have a unique role in ministry. We are sounding boards for our husbands. We "hold down the fort" while our husbands are called on at any hour of the day or night. We are passionate about ministry and loving the people in our ministry sphere, but we also fight the pain of criticism aimed at our husband and children or at us. I've often thought the "firey darts" mentioned in Ephesians 6 refer to the pain of these criticisms and expectations. We are women trying to be thick-skinned while remaining soft-hearted. We are called to ministry as much as our husbands, but we are often limited by the expectations of others. Being a pastor or a pastor's wife is not an easy road, but we pray it is worth it!

The focus of this week's newsletter is the pastor's family. Years ago I read a wonderful book called Heart to Heart with Pastor's Wives by Lynne Dugan. It encouraged me so much. I am about to start reading Kay Warren's new book Sacred Privilege. I've been a pastor's wife for 32 years now, and it really has been a sacred privilege. Many, many times I've been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and appreciation from people who wanted to encourage our family. I've recieved notes that made me feel like a valuable part of the ministry. I was especailly blessed by a note sent to one of our children thanking her for her ministry. It was special because it wasn't because she was the pastor's daughter. This note was because God was using her to bless others. That was really wonderful to see. However, I've also been in the choir loft listening to the gossip of two ladies next to me bad-mouthing my husband. I've had a person come to our home telling my husabnd how she was sad that he had a wife and family, that she wished they had a single pastor. I've also had a friend who would just shake her head and say, "You are NOT a pastor's wife." She meant it in a funny way because I wasn't exactly fitting into the traditional mold. But I'm sure there have been many who thought that same thing and didn't mean it in a fun, loving way.


What's your story? Or what's your pastor's wife's story? We know it is a tremendous blessing when people want to hear our stories. Take time to hear hers and their children's stories. It will bless you and them.

If you are a minister's wife, you will get to share stories, ideas, and fellowship with other minister's wives soon. If you are available Wednesday, November 1st at 11:30 am, we are having a planning meeting at the SRBN office to start up a new pastor's wives group. If you cannot join us that day, please watch the SRBN Website and this newsletter for upcoming events and activities.


Being Married to a Pastor: The Good and the Bad by Becky Weber for Outreach Magazine

The church has been part of my life since I was born. I grew up as a pastor’s kid. It’s all I’ve ever known. When it came to getting married, I swore I would never marry a pastor.

Well, I did. We got married, and the very next day we moved across the country so he could start seminary.

When it comes to being married to a pastor, there have been things I’ve enjoyed, and other things I wish I didn’t have to deal with. I wanted to share a couple of those things based on my experience.

Here are three things I love about being married to a pastor:

1. A Front-Row Seat
It’s amazing to look back and see all that the Lord has done in and through the church. Lives changed, needs met and things happening that we can only attribute to the Lord moving. Being in the position I am, I love just sitting back and watching it all unfold—thanking Jesus for what he has done. Looking ahead, I can’t wait to see what’s yet to come.
Read the full article here.



Pastors’ Spouses Find Consistent Quiet Times a Challenge by  for LifeWay Pastors

A brand-new LifeWay Research study came out recently about the lives of Protestant pastors’ spouses. The representative study of 720 spouses revealed that their lives and ministries were a mixture of challenges and blessings.
I asked my wife Janet to comment on some of the results, since she has been a pastor’s spouse for 30 years, and a pastor’s daughter her whole life. Janet also speaks to approximately 1,500 pastor’s wives each year in conferences, retreats, and Pastor Date Nights across North America. Here is the first post in this two-part series.
Mark: You showed some concern about the result from the question on personal time with God.

In the last 7 days, 52% have had personal time with the Lord involving Bible study and prayer five or more times.

Janet: Yes. I know for me there is an obvious direct correlation between my outlook on life and my personal time with God. I am left wondering if some of the other survey results like, “26% could not say they have a clear sense of purpose in ministry” came from those who indicated the least amount of personal time with God?
Mark: What would you say to these women?
Janet: Years ago, I felt trapped and guilty in the legalistic idea that if I were truly spiritual I would spend an hour every day in prayer and Bible study. I am proud to announce that since now I have an empty nest and am unemployed, I am finally spiritual! I joke, but in all seriousness, an hour every day has not always been a reality for me. One year I was working 40 hours a week, working on my master’s degree, with a husband, two kids, and a ministry. Beth Moore was going to have to wait! It was in that year that I spent short, but highly focused time with God. Like the poor man’s offering, I gave sacrificially of my time and God was faithful to meet me there. Andrea Lennon of True Vine Ministry says, “As busy women, we need to practice the presence of God throughout the day. Start in His Word, whether 10 minutes or an hour, and use it as a starting point to cultivate a relationship with Him. Find creative ways to stay engaged with Him and our faith will be spurred on through the busyness of life’s activity.”
Read the full article here.



New Research on Pastors’ Spouses Finds Many Friendless, Isolated by Mark Dance for LifeWay Pastors
A brand-new LifeWay Research study came out last week about the lives of Protestant pastors’ spouses. The representative study of 720 spouses revealed that their lives and ministries were a mixture of challenges and blessings.

I asked my wife Janet to comment on some of the results, since she has been a pastor’s spouse for 30 years, and a pastor’s daughter her whole life. Janet also speaks to approximately 1,500 pastor’s wives each year in conferences, retreats, and Pastor Date Nights across North America.
Mark: More than half of pastors’ spouses have few friends or people in which they can confide. Why do you think that is?
56% agree they have too few relationships that make them feel emotionally connected with others.
7 out of 10 agree they have very few people to confide in about important matters in life.
Janet: I understand what these spouses are saying. Friendships take time and energy. We are busy and other priorities often take precedence over friendships. Add to that the layer of ministry and questions like, “Who can I trust?” and “Who will see me for just me and not my role as a ministry spouse?” These questions make friendships more challenging. I knew that God could move us at any time, which made me cautious in the past.
Mark: Do you have any advice for these spouses?
Read the rest of the article here


How to Survive the Busy Season of Ministry by 
If you’re a pastor’s wife, you know how time-consuming ministry can be for your husband. This busyness usually comes in seasons. Right now, your husband may be stretched thin responding to hurricane relief, or perhaps he’s heavily engaged in a specific church-wide emphasis that needs attention. Whatever it is, his ministry workload can often result in his unavailability at home.

If it happens regularly, this absence from home can be hard for pastors’ wives. Not only do we wives enjoy having our husbands around, but we also depend upon them to help make family life run more smoothly. If we’re not careful, it’s tempting to become bitter toward the church for those long work hours or evening phone calls.
I’ve found four keys to help me persevere during these busy seasons of ministry.
Read the full article here.


A couple of great practical articles: What Not to Say (and What TO Say) to Your Pastor's Wife from Churchplants. And Nine Secrets Your Pastor’s Wife Wishes You Knew from Authentik Magazine. Lots of good advice.


3 Things Pastors’ Kids Need from Their Churches by Barnabas Piper
Everyone in church notices the pastor’s kids. People don’t think about noticing them, it just happens. I grew up as a PK, the son of John Piper, and even I notice PKs. It’s almost impossible to avoid. They’re like the first children of the church.
D
on’t think you notice them? Here’s what it looks like.
You know things about their personal lives you don’t know about any other kid in the church: where they’re going to college, who they took to prom, that they just got braces, that they got pulled over for speeding last week. You make comments about their behavior to them or to anyone else. “Did you see his new tattoo?” “You can’t talk like that; you’re the pastor’s kid.” “Can you believe she wore that to church?” “Pastors’ kids should know better than to run in church.” You expect them to speak out in Sunday school, to pray, to lead. You have a tacit standard for them as PKs. You hold them to a higher standard than their peers in church, and you’re not even trying to do so.
What you might not realize is how this makes PKs feel.
They feel like people are always watching. The fact that you know personal things about them makes them hyper aware of you watching, listening, knowing.
They feel like there is no room for mistakes. People watch them. People tell them how to act. People have a standard for them. What pressure! They know they’re going to screw up, but how can they with everyone watching?
They feel as if they have to have it all together, to have a firm faith and a solid family life. No room for questions or doubts. No chance to wonder or wander. No struggles allowed. And really, who could they ask any way?
But you can help them. You can encourage PKs. Here are three ways.
Read the full article here.


10 Unfair Expectations of Pastors’ Wives from Thom S. Rainer
The pastor’s wife in many churches carries heavy burdens.
Sometimes they are impossible expectations…Here are the top ten expectations imposed upon these ladies.

1.     “I am expected to attend every function at the church.” 

2.     “Many church members expect me to know everything that is happening in the church.” 

3.     “We have several church members who feel free to complain to me about my husband.” 

4.     “Church members utilize me as a de facto assistant to my husband, giving me messages for him.” 

5.     “I am still amazed how many church members expect me to function as an employee of the church.” 

6.     “Some of the members expect our children to be perfect and act perfect.” 

7.     “I am always supposed to be perfectly made up and dressed when I leave the house.”

8.     “I have no freedom at our church to be anything but perfectly emotionally composed.”

9.     “I think some of our church members expect my family to take a vow of poverty.” 

10.  “So many church members expect me to be their best friend.” 

To read the full article with more details, go here.  


Also from Thom S. Rainer, Twelve Reasons Pastors’ Wives Are Lonely
Read the article here.

And Seven Things Pastors’ Wives Wish They Had Been Told Before They Became Pastors’ Wives

Read it here.


How Ministry Transitions Affect the Pastor’s Wife: 5 Questions to Answer by Kathy Ferguson Litton for LifeWay Pastors
From transitioning ministry opportunities, to transitioning ministry styles, to church revitalization, the pastor’s wife often feels like the driftwood caught in a rolling tide. While her pastor husband may discuss things with her, any changes of ministry direction are usually beyond her control. The results, however, may directly affect her in negative ways.

I encourage any pastor who God is leading to lead in a transitional situation to consider these ways in which your wife may be affected. 

What are her gains and losses?
Consider the answers to these questions:

  • What price does she pay for this move?
  • What are the positives for her in this move?

Your awareness of her concerns can help you lean in compassionately with her losses and celebrate her gains.

Is she leaving wounded or limping?

What emotional work does this move require of her?
These are your wife’s heart concerns:

  • How will my children handle this move?
  • Will my children find healthy friends?
  • What are our educational options? (School choices are becoming very challenging, creating lots of angst for families.)
  • Will our neighborhood be a safe, welcoming place? If not how will we navigate that? (We all don’t get to live in safe places.)
  • Will this church love my husband?
  • Will I be accepted in this new church or the new job I have in this new place? Weill people in the church expect me to be something I’m not? Will they forever compare me to previous pastors wives?

Don’t leave her alone to negotiate emotional transitions just because of all the demands on you. Be a team in shepherding the emotional health of your family.

What are her fears?

How can you help her assimilate?

Read the full article here.


Quote:
In a recent interview in Rolling Stone, Taylor Swift recounts a conversation with her brother about a man he’d seen walking around with a cat on his head. She was torn between wanting to respect the man’s privacy and wishing she had a photo. After all, she said, “That guy is asking for it – he’s got a cat on his head!”
So here’s a sentence I never thought I’d write: Being a pastor’s wife is a little like having a cat on your head. Are we really asking for it? We have our private, everyday lives just like everyone else, yet we happen to be married to men whose jobs—whose ministries—are public.
And despite shifting notions of celebrity, the church tends to hold an unspoken expectation that pastors and their wives live in a special category of Christian.
--Joanna Beault from The Pastor’s Wife Effect


My Strange Life as a Pastor's Wife: The unexpected blessings of a role I never wanted by Laurie Carnright Edwards
"She was a Plain Jane minister's wife type—you know what I mean."

That was how one of our parishioners described a visitor they'd had in church while my husband and I were away on vacation. Did I know what she meant? Did I want to know? After all, I am a minister's wife. I was hesitant to ask.

"Some ministers' wives are good at it, some aren't."

This remark came from a friend and mother-to-be. She was confined to home near the end of her pregnancy, and I brought her a gift, thinking it might cheer her up. Her offhand comment caught me off guard. Did what I see as a simple act of friendship—bringing a baby gift to lift a friend's spirit—bolster my credentials as a pastor's wife? Or maybe she didn't appreciate my visit at all and meant that I wasn't "good at it"—this pastor's wife thing, I mean.

"How did the two of you ever get together? I mean you're so different."

I was helping set up tables for the annual church bazaar and this question hit me out of the blue. It wasn't asked with the intent of getting to know me better, or inquiring about my life's story. It was more of a "That's weird that he's married to you" kind of statement. I found myself trying to defend my husband's and my compatibility, realizing our marriage was under scrutiny by this woman who really didn't know either of us on a personal level.

What is a "pastor's wife" anyway? Is it a profession? Certainly more than a few parishioners see it that way. And if my experiences are any indication, there are certain physical and personality characteristics in a pastor's spouse that people in the pew consider desirable, if not essential.

Read the full article here.


This is a blog for Pastor’s Wives: Just Between Us: Encouraging & Equipping Women for a Life of Faith



 Job & Ministry Opportunities
Annual (Senior) Adult Conference
Cande Ackler sent a report from the recent 11th Annual Adult Conference with a request for the 12th Annual Conference:
First Baptist Church of Orangevale has hosted this meeting for the past eleven years, and 2017 was one of the best we have had.
During the three days, we had a barbecue on Sunday afternoon followed by music led by John McDaniel and the worship team from Orangevale, and a presentation by Dr. Carl Morgan, Director and Curator of the Woodland Museum of Biblical Archaelogy.  Dr. Morgan also spoke on Monday and Tuesday mornings.  Early sessions on Monday and Tuesday included a presentation by the California Highway Patrol of their “Age Well Drive Smart” program for drivers age 65 and older.  The Senior Ombudsman from California Department of Motor Vehicles provided invaluable information for the senior driving community.  On Tuesday morning, representatives of First Call Hospice presented great information about the concepts involved in hospice care for patients of all ages approaching the end of life.
The conference was well attended  by representatives from seventeen churches, with 83 on Sunday evening, 64 on Monday, and more than 40 on Tuesday.  Of course great fellowship occurred during the lunches after each morning session.
Orangevale has enjoyed hosting the past eleven years of conferences, but is seeking another church to host the meetings in 2018.  Any church group interested in hosting may contact Richard Ackler, Senior Adult Ministries Coordinator at First Baptist Church of Orangevale, at (916)601-6017, or emailacklerri@surewest.net.

Urgent Need: Preschool Teacher Interns
Teachers needed wot tork with the preschool program at Lake Tahoe. Teachers must be studying or have a dregree in Early Childhood, Child Life, Child Development, or Human Development and Family Studies. You need 12 semester hours in any combination fo these types of classes to qualify as a preschool intern. Round-trip air fare, housing, food money,a nd local ministry-related transportation provided plus a $500 monthly stipend. 

For more information: Debbie Wohler Reasoner-Internship Coordinator: 530-448-9359 (Eastern Time) or debbie@fbctahoe.com, Jayme Blanton, A+ Director: 530-583-1534 (Pacific Time) or jayme@fbctahoe.com, Pastor Scott Capshaw: 530-583-7458 (Pacific Time) or scott@fbctahoe.com  

Live-In Home Health Care Helper
A pastor from Suisun whose parents live in Sacramento needs to find 24/7 live-in assistance for his mother and her husband. Please contact Pastor Richard Guy from Grace Baptist Church of Suisun. His number is 707-290-3200.

Children's Ministry Volunteers
New Seasons church has a need for temporary/short term volunteers in their children’s church ministry.
Trained, experienced volunteers with proper clearances, and pastor approval preferred.
For more information contact Pastor Ron Jackson – 619-540-9294 or pastorron@newsesonws.com

Youth Leader Internship
Our church is seeking to fill a vacant position for Youth Leader Intern immediately, and we are reaching out to other churches and Christian organizations in the area with hopes of finding the right person (or couple) for the job.  We are a small-town conservative church, and our active Youth Group currently consists of 8 – 15 students at our Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday gatherings.  The position will require about 15 hours of work each week.  We will offer a salary of $750 - $1000, along with a generous budget for Youth activities.
We hope you would be willing to share our description with anyone who you feel would be a great addition to our team at FBCW.   Please respond and we will send the application as a pdf file, or interested parties may contact the church at 530-795-2821 orfbcw@fbcwinters.org to schedule an interview.  Thank you in advance for your assistance.
In Christ,
Pastor James  Allen  and the FBCW Stewardship/Personnel Committee

Unique Mission Project Opportunity: Supporting Seminary Students and Persecuted Christians in Myanmar
What your church can do:
1. Show a five-minute video in your service about the ministry
2. Have 1-2 leaders/contact persons to lead this project in your church who can explain the importance of this project and what it is accomplishing and who can oversee the sell of the bracelets used to raise the money as well as forward the money to The Church on the Rock in Canada. (See below for more details). (If you are near the Sacramento area, we can provide a leader/speaker to coordinate with your church if you are willing to let us come and share).
3. Commit to sell at least 100 bracelets. (They are really beautiful and are hand-made by the families in Myanmar).
4. Contact Claudia Wreyford at 916-944-2225 with any questions or to adopt this project in your church.
The Church on Cypress in Carmichael has partnered with The Church on the Rock in Canada for many years. We need churches who, as part of their mission activities, would be willing to join us in supporting the mission churches in Myanmar. This project provides financial support for a lay pastor seminary (training 70-90 men from 15 outlying villages) as well as aiding Christian families being persecuted there. 
The families are making Kumihimo (braided) Bracelets which will then be offered for sale through churches here in the US. 100% of all monies collected go to the mission in Myanmar. There are no administrative costs. All work here is done by volunteers. 
We currently have 1,000 bracelets ready for sale, we just need your help by including this as one of your mission projects.  Here are links to both the informational video available for your use and to pictures/information on the Myanmar Mission activities:
Video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjJOvrW90So&feature=em-upload_owner
Click here: Myanmar Mission Pictures Or:https://goo.gl/photos/kYjMkiEmcWw9QHqU6 

Youth Mission Projects Needs
As part of the Ignition Conference at the end of December, the students will have the opportunity to help with several service projects in our area from 1:15 pm to 4:45 pm on December 29th. If you have a special project that you think it appropriate for students to help with, please contact the SRBN office to let us know.


Many Christian movies are in theaters or are coming to theaters this fall! It's exciting to see family-friendly movies in theaters! Here is a list of the ones we know about:


Let There Be Light in theaters October 27
The Price of Fame in theaters November 7
Genesis Part 1: Paradise Lost in theaters November 13 only
The Star: The Story of the First Christmas in theaters November 17 (If you would like a pre-screening preview on 10/21 in Rocklin, please email Terrie at tbrown@sacbaptist.org and request the link. This is for ministry leaders only, and you can bring one guest and up to three children with you).
Alien Invasion in theaters January 11, 2018


Calendar
October
20-21 Disaster Relief CISM Class in Auburn
 
        http://www.csbc.com/events/disaster-relief-cism-class

21    Piercing the Darkness 
        A faith-fueled summit for those on the frontline
        of empowering and protecting children from
        social injustice and human trafficking
        FREE, at The Artisan 
        Info and registration
        Contact: Chris Stambaugh
        chris@thegracenetwork.org (916) 952-7880

23      Special Flood Recovery/Mud-Out Disaster Relief Training in Riverside prior to the Annual Meeting
          http://www.csbc.com/events/dr-special-training-at-magnolia-church-riverside

24-25  CSBC Annual Meeting
           Magnolia Church, Riverside, CA
           For More information:
http://www.csbc.com/events/csbc-annual-meeting-2017 
           (Fellowship of Church Musicians’ Conference-Oct. 23-24 
            and other meetings at the Annual Meeting as well.  
  
          Be sure to check out CSBC for details).

28       Wills & Trusts Seminar - Rancho Cordova
           http://www.csbc.com/events/wills-trusts-seminar-rancho-cordova

November
1   Minister's Wives Planning Meeting
     11:30 am at SRBN office, bring your lunch (no onions please)

7   Minister and Staff Lunch
     12 pm to 1:30 pm, bring your own lunch
     Roseville Baptist Church, 1301 Coloma Way

11    2nd Saturday Outreach
        www.thegracenetwork.org
        10 AM - 1st Time orientation

December
1-2  Disaster Relief Roundtable for Cal Blue Caps
      More details: http://www.csbc.com/events/dr-blue-caps

5   Minister and Staff Lunch
     12 pm to 1:30 pm, bring your own lunch
     Roseville Baptist Church, 1301 Coloma Way

9   2nd Saturday Outreach
     www.thegracenetwork.org
     10 AM - 1st Time orientation

28-30  Ignition Student Conference
          Sacramento Convention Center
          Learn more: https://www.studentignition.com/

January
27      Church Music Workshop - North
          http://www.csbc.com/events/church-music-workshop-north 

February
16-19   Winter Youth Retreat Week 1
            
http://www.csbc.com/events/winter-youth-retreat-2018

17        Clinicas para Escuela Biblica de Vacaciones - San Jose
            http://www.csbc.com/events/clinicas-para-escuela-bíblica-de-vacaciones-en-español

23-25     Winter Youth Retreat Week 2
              http://www.csbc.com/events/winter-youth-retreat-week-2

24         State VBS Clinic at El Camino Baptist Church
             
2805 El Camino Ave., Sacramento

24         Clinicas para Escuela Biblica de Vacaciones - Manteca
             http://www.csbc.com/events/clinicas-para-escuela-bíblica-de-vacaciones-en-español-1


 

 

Announcements

SRBN Youth Leaders Meeting

Friday, November 10, 6 pm
(2nd Friday of each month)
El Camino Baptist Church
2805 El Camino Ave., Sacramento

For more info: Gregory Horton
415-684-4549, kazuma4321@hotmail.com

Donation of Turkeys Needed for Thanksgiving and Christmas Dinners

For His Glory Church is looking for free turkeys. We are serving FREE Thanksgiving Dinner and Free Christmas dinner again this year to families who otherwise won't have a dinner on those days.

If you can make a donation of any kind we appreciate it.
Tax deduction.
916-396-1890


 

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