Network News - August 15, 2017
Capital Baptist News

Network News - August 15, 2017


TONIGHT!



The Second SCBC Disaster Relief team leaves for Texas tomorrow, September 16. Teams will continue to deploy at least through the end of October. If you are able to help out, please contact go to http://www.csbc.com/ministry-resources/hurricane-harvey-update today! 
Many want to help but can't go? Consider giving a donation to California Southern Baptist Disaster Relief. Your contributions may be used for the preparation of meals, cleanup of homes, recovery assistance and providing transportation for teams and equipment for this and future disasters.
Visit www.csbc.com for more information and to donate. Funds may also be sent to CSBC, 678 E. Shaw Ave., Fresno CA 93710.



SRBN Annual Celebration is October 19th at 7 pm. Place TBA soon.
Information regarding messengers for the meeting, from the bylaws:
Article VI:Section 4.  Messengers from the churches.  Each church in the Association having fifty resident members or less may send their pastor and four other messengers plus one messenger for each additional fifty resident members or the fraction thereof, provided that no church shall have more than fifteen messengers.  Messengers shall be members in good standing of the churches they represent.


As the Disaster Relief ministry continues and will continue for quite some time, we are reminded that part of that ministry is to help people grieve and recover from grief. So many are giving their opinions of why these tragedies happen from the clinical, scientific explanation to the "God is judging us" explanation. But when we are walking through the event, even though we may ask "why," often we need more of the "how"...How to I get through this? How do I start again? How do I deal with this pain of loss?

Here are some articles and resources to help:

What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say by  for LifeWay Pastors
When I put the phone away, my wife, seeing a puzzled look on my face asked, “What was that about?” I began to
tell the nature of the conversation and before I was finished she replied, “You get asked the strangest questions.” She has no idea.

Sometimes pastors receive some really odd questions. The occasional strange question though is greatly overshadowed by the questions that greatly weigh on your congregation. Pastors are often one of the first sources people turn to know how to respond in a God honoring way to the cares and crisis of life. Many times a situation is presented and someone wants to know what to do, and you, who are supposed to be the one who walks with God, have absolutely no idea what to say.

There are some steps you can take that will help you to know what to say when you don’t know what to say.

Pray.
Know your limits.
Repeat what they said.
Respond graciously.
Respond in a palatable manner.

Pastor, sometimes you will get asked strange questions. That’s ok; you have some strange questions of your own. Resist the un-communicated expectation and pressure to know something about everything. You don’t. Nor should you. You may not get to filter every question that comes your way but you always get to choose how you respond. For the Kingdom’s sake, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person” (Col. 4:6).
Read the full article here.


Children and Grief by  for Mr. Mark's Classroom
Children experience loss in many ways. The loss may be an external object, an environmental loss, a skill or ability, a habit, the protection of the adult world, or a future. They frequently experience loss through death of a pet, grandparent, relative, or friend. Twenty percent of today’s children will have experienced the loss of a parent by the end of high school.

Adults have difficulty imagining that children can experience the range and intensity of emotions that adults feel following a death. Children old enough to love are old enough to grieve. Adults need to be aware that grief is a normal emotional response to death. Bereavement is the state of having lost something or someone valued, and mourning is the public expression of grief.
Read the full article here.


How Churches Can Partner with Outside Counselors: It’s about supplementing, not replacing, pastoral care by Rebecca Meyer and Gerald Hiestand for CT Pastors
The sermon text was Psalm 88, a raw, riveting prayer of a depressed author, and the pastor did not hold back. As he drew out themes of loneliness, betrayal, and isolation I saw heads nodding and notepads filling up. The dizzying Psalm seemed to capture everyone present.

At the end of the sermon, the pastor extended an invitation. “Prayer ministers will be available throughout the sanctuary to pray with you.” Within minutes, the prayer ministers were surrounded. They prayed, wept with those suffering, and moved to the next waiting person. As I watched, I began to wonder, what is next for these people? How can the balm of prayer on Sunday become an entry gate to transformational change or perseverance in suffering? What’s next for the person whose heart was laid bare by the Psalmist’s harrowing conclusion: “Darkness is my closest friend”?

This is where churches have an opportunity to partner with outside counselors. What if, as the prayer ministers closed their conversations, they could have offered each grieving person a chance to meet with a professionally trained, biblically grounded counselor?

Earlier this fall I met with a group of pastors and shared some thoughts on coming alongside hurting people. While they appreciated the tips I shared, they explained to me that engaging in more long conversations is a luxury, and that to stack them on top of their already high list of responsibilities would be overwhelming.

To me, the solution was obvious. Overworked and overwhelmed pastors can turn to counselors to meet the needs of their flock. As I’ve had conversations with pastors and staff at a number of churches throughout the Chicago area, I’ve learned a lot about how churches can partner with counselors.
Read the full article here. 


5 Dumb Things Christians Must Stop Saying When Evil Strikes: When people are in pain, we need to resist the urge to speak too much. Uncomfortable silence is better than false platitudes. by Karl Vaters for Christianity Today

(This article was written after the shooting in Orlando last year, but the wisdom shared applies to any tragic situation.)

Unspeakable evil visited Orlando over the weekend.
More than a tragedy. More than a disaster.
Evil.
In trying to make sense of events like this, we’re all capable of saying something stupid.
Christians are no exception to this. Sometimes we say dumb things. Things that hurt when we’re trying to help.
In this, and other past events (sadly, there are just so many of them) I’ve noticed five dumb things Christians tend to say.
Read the full article here.


 

Dos and Don’ts of Grief Ministry
One of the most miraculous things about Jesus is that he knows our human condition. Even though he is true God, he knows the pain and sorrow that come with earthly life. In John 11 we hear the story of Lazarus’s death. Lazarus was a friend that Jesus dearly loved, and Jesus wept as he made his way to Lazarus’s tomb. Even though Jesus would raise Lazarus from the dead, he cried human tears of grief and anger.

The grief of death will certainly weigh on each one of us at some point in life. As a church leader, it is part of your calling to minister to individuals when they are in the midst of illness, death, and sorrow. As Romans 12:15 (ESV) tells us, “weep with those who weep.”

We all know that it can be difficult to provide support to individuals experiencing the effects of death. Their entire world has just fallen apart, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t fix it. However, you can bring them words of comfort from Jesus. Our Savior has walked in our shoes. He knows our pain and our sadness. The promises of his presence and eternal life can break through even the darkest veil of grief.

Don’t do it alone 
No one person can manage a grief ministry program alone. Bring together your pastors, care ministry leaders, lay leaders, and volunteers to create a grief ministry team. Even if you have a small church, you still need at least two people to cover this responsibility. Create redundancy to effectively bring the comforting words of Jesus to individuals who are grieving.

As you create a grief ministry team, appoint a leader. This will probably be the person who is the most experienced. This person will take up the task of educating the team and recruiting new members, as needed.

Don’t simplify grief 
To the person experiencing loss, death is complicated. There may be feelings of relief if death comes after a long illness. There may be feelings of resentment when an estranged parent dies. There may be feelings of blame or anger in any case.

In the short term, the logistics can be overwhelming. A grief ministry team can help the mourner sort out the details, but don’t assume anything. A simple question like the place of burial or readings for the funeral service may have extremely important significance. Have a conversation and offer basic services—printing funeral bulletins, ordering flowers, setting up a memorial webpage, organizing meals from volunteers, or communicating prayer requests with church members.

In the long term, death rocks every part of the mourner's life - physical, emotional, psychological, behavioral, and spiritual. Adjusting to life without a loved one is complicated. Who will pay the bills? Who will take out the trash? Who will cook? Am I still a husband or wife? a mother or father? Acknowledge the validity of these questions, but use a Bible verse like 1 Peter 2:9 or Jeremiah 29:11 to remind those who grieve that they can still find hope in God’s plan.

Do realize that the second year is the hardest 
It may seem counterintuitive, but the second year of grief is the most difficult for many people. As one expert puts it, “The first year is a time of learning to adjust and physically survive. . . . The emotional impact of the loss may dominate the subsequent year. . . . The meaning and significance of the loss emerges more clearly. The press of business has subsided and the bereaved person is left with the ‘now what do I do with the rest of my life’ questions and fears.”

How can a grief team help? Write down the date of the death and mark the day three months, six months, and one year later. Mark the birthday of the person who died and, for couples, the wedding anniversary. On each of these occasions, a member of the grief ministry team should send a card, make a phone call, or personally visit the family. Keep talking about the person who died and encourage the mourners to recall memories even years after the funeral. Let the grieving family know that you haven’t forgotten the loss or the life of the individual who is gone.

Do make a point to provide ongoing care 
During the first month after death, there’s usually a large outpouring of support. After that, many people seem to forget it even happened. But for the mourner, it’s a daily struggle to keep up with work, responsibilities at home, and self-care. This is where the “doers” (those who may not be so good at providing words of comfort) of the grief ministry team can make their impact.

Your team can provide ongoing care by

  • helping clean out the room or house of the one who has passed away;
  • helping take care of the pets or children of the family;
  • cleaning the house and keeping up with maintenance;
  • bringing meals at least once each week;
  • helping sort out bills, insurance claims, or final expenses; and
  • providing rides to church.

Your church can also help care for the person’s emotional needs by hosting a grief support group. Look for programs with local options like GriefShare or Stephen Ministries.

As you implement a grief ministry team at your church, the most important “do” is to reaffirm the hope we have though faith in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. No matter the depth of grief, the power of our Savior’s love will triumph. “Thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:57 ESV).

© 2016 CTA, Inc. Used with permission.

CTA also has an article A Guide to Hospital Visits you may be interested in.


Here is a lengthy article from Preaching Today that suggests how to preach on Lamentations and suffering: 
The Power and Beauty of Lament: An interview with Soong-Chan Rah.


Here are several resources on dealing with trauma and ministering to those who are grieving from Building Church Leaders from Christianity Today
Helping People Heal from Trauma
Taking the Cries out of Crisis


The Stages of Grief and How to Cope by Amy Jacobs for LifeWay
What is grief? How should we deal with it? With her personal story and Scripture, writer Amy Jacobs gives practical advice for dealing with grief.
Daddy died on Dec. 4th, and I haven't been home since.

I've been hiding out three hours from his house, hoping that I could gain the courage to eventually drive home. It's been four months. I don't stare blankly at the wall as much as I did in the beginning.

I can now focus on assignments as I write. But every once in awhile, when I think I'm doing alright, grief sneaks up and reminds me that I'm not where I think I am—that loss isn't OK, and neither am I.

What Is This Feeling? What Is Grief?

Even though I was there when he died, my dad's death isn't entirely real to me. I was with him for two weeks prior to his passing and helped care for him on weekends during the 10 months he battled cancer. But today, sitting in my cozy Nashville, Tenn., living room, the only pieces of evidence I have of his death are the legal documents I received in the mail and the nagging urge I have to call home.

Every now and then reality bounces through my head, and I'm stunned by the truth that my father died. It's not just that I haven't seen him in a while—it's that he's gone. When these moments come, I have to pick myself up and grieve again.

You may have never experienced the death of a parent, but that doesn't mean you've never felt this kind of grief. Grief isn't just related to death. Grief is an emotional and physical reaction to any traumatic or stressful loss: divorce of parents, loss of friendships, break ups, academic failures, injuries and illnesses, to name a few.

Regardless of the trauma, reactions to jarring circumstances are similar.

The 5 Stages of Grief

Psychiatrist and author Elisabeth Kübler-Ross defined five stages of grief in her groundbreaking book, On Death and Dying. But just like me, Kübler-Ross must have known that grief is tricky because these stages have no set order.

In fact, one may or may not experience all the stages, but everyone who grieves will most likely experience at least two. Here‘s a brief description of the five stages:

  1. Denial: This is a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept the situation at hand. It's a defense mechanism and is perfectly natural.
  2. Anger: People dealing with emotional upset can be angry with themselves and/or with others, especially those close to them.
  3. Bargaining: When you face a loss you can't imagine bearing, you might become more willing to do anything to negotiate another way. But bargaining isn't just for matters of life and death. Right before a break up, somebody usually says, "Can we still be friends?"
  4. Depression: When reality sets in, depression is soon to follow. Routine tasks become drudgery and emotions are exaggerated. Apathy, lethargy and sorrow are common feelings associated with depression.
  5. Acceptance: This has everything to do with learning to deal with the situation at hand. It's most evidenced as individuals move forward and embrace life on it's new terms. Although the grief stages may occur in any order, acceptance usually marks the end of the grieving process.

When You Feel Alone in a Crowd
In The Little Prince, Antoine de Sainte Exupéry wrote, "It is such a secret place, the land of tears."
He nailed it—grief is personal and private.

After my father's death, I found myself in a room full of people I love, yet I was thinking, I've got to get out of here. I can't be here anymore. I don't want to be near these people. I need to be alone.

The people you love most in this world will want to help you grieve, but they might not know how. The best thing you can do is communicate what you need—this is appropriate and helpful. Don't hesitate to say something like, "I need you to be here with me, but I don't need advice or clichés. Just be here."

Such a statement might actually relieve some of the tension and awkwardness that often accompanies condolences.
Read the rest of the article here.

More articles you may be interested in:
3 Practical Ways to Help People Who Are Hurting
Years ago, I asked a friend of mine how she was doing and got this response: "My mom is a heroin addict and I just want to kill myself. How do you think I'm doing?"
Finding Greater Joy
My index finger took a few spins around the thick edge of my empty coffee mug as I thought of my response. Possibilities waved about like a broken sprinkler head.

8 "Hopes" for a Mom who Lost Her Son to Cancer
Laura Sobiech tells the story of her son, her desperate prayer to God and the life lessons she learned from a boy who chose hope and joy at the end of his life.


4 Ways to Provide Hope for Hurricane Harvey Victims by Pastors.com Staff
Tom Holladay, teaching pastor at Saddleback Church, offered some words of hope to the flood victims in Houston, Texas with an article that appeared on the Fox News website. Holladay can empathize with the people in Texas and Louisiana who have lost everything because his home was covered by 9 feet of water when a levee broke, flooding Marysville, California in 1986.

Holladay says his family needed to quickly learn four simple truths in order to maintain hope during the recovery, which must be measured in years, not months. These truths are also a guide for how we can reach out to victims of the flood.

People will find hope in gifts that provide for their basic needs

Holladay says he appreciated the single woman who gave up her apartment to give his family a place to temporarily live, when a truck brought meals for all the workers, and when a church replaced his pastor’s library. You church could offer hope by providing pastors who need help ministering to their congregations with items they can give to others. Or, you could help a pastor get back to his full capacity by providing for his needs.

People will find hope in the prayers that we pray

Holladay says people in a crisis need others to pray for them because, often, they are so busy they barely have time to pray. Our congregations can pray consistently over the next year or more for the people put in crisis by this flood.

People will find hope by trusting God one day at a time

Holladay says God gave him the strength and hope he needed each day. He says hung onto God’s promise from Nehemiah 2:20, The God of Heaven will give us success; we his servants will start rebuilding. Consider how you can help a local pastor teach his congregation to trust God one day at a time.

People will find hope in long-term volunteers

Holladay says it was a blessing to see volunteers who kept helping in the recovery months and years after the flood. He notes that Saddleback Church is making plans to send teams to help with the recovery over the next several years.

You can read Holladay’s full article here.

 


Remember, September is CMO month. Our Network was featured in a video. You can check it out here


Many Christian movies are in theaters or are coming to theaters this fall! It's exciting to see family-friendly movies in theaters! Here is a list of the ones we know about:


All Saints in theates now
Because of Gracia in theaters starting September 15
Greg Laurie Presents Steve McQueen: American Iconin theaters September 28
A Question of Faith in theaters September 29
Let There Be Light in theaters October 27


We're very excited to see youth leaders in our network come together and begin planning some events and activities for the youth and young adults! If you are able, please join us for our second meeting at El Camino Baptist Church at 6 pm on September 29th for a planning/brainstorming/connecting meeting. Gregory Horton is heading up the meeting. If you have any questions or need more information, please contact him at 415-684-4549 or kazuma4321@hotmail.com 


Job & Ministry Opportunities
Live-In Home Health Care Helper
A pastor from Suisun whose parents live in Sacramento needs to find 24/7 live-in assistance for his mother and her husband. Please contact Pastor Richard Guy from Grace Baptist Church of Suisun. His number is 707-290-3200.

Children's Ministry Volunteers
New Seasons church has a need for temporary/short term volunteers in their children’s church ministry.
Trained, experienced volunteers with proper clearances, and pastor approval preferred.
For more information contact Pastor Ron Jackson – 619-540-9294 or pastorron@newsesonws.com

Youth Leader Internship
First Baptist Church of Winters (FBCW) is seeking a Youth Leader Intern.
The job requires about 15 hours of work each week, offers a competitive salary along with a generous budget for Youth activities. The youth group consists of 10-20 students at the Wednesday, Friday, and Sunday gatherings.
For more information, contact the church at 530-795-2821 or fbcw@fbcwinters.org.

Youth Director 
New Hope Community Church (NHCC) in South Sacramento is searching for a part time (20 hr/wk) youth director. The position will report directly to the senior pastor and offers a competitive salary and some flexibility of work hours. The intent is to grow the position to full time and eventually a pastoral position. Some Bible college or seminary study is a plus, and candidate must be a self-starter.

For a full job description and other information, please contact NHCC board of deacons: deacons@newhopemeadowview.com
or
Board of Deacons
New Hope Community Church
1821 Meadowview Road
Sacramento, CA 95832  

Unique Mission Project Opportunity: Supporting Seminary Students and Persecuted Christians in Myanmar
What your church can do:
1. Show a five-minute video in your service about the ministry
2. Have 1-2 leaders/contact persons to lead this project in your church who can explain the importance of this project and what it is accomplishing and who can oversee the sell of the bracelets used to raise the money as well as forward the money to The Church on the Rock in Canada. (See below for more details). (If you are near the Sacramento area, we can provide a leader/speaker to coordinate with your church if you are willing to let us come and share).
3. Commit to sell at least 100 bracelets. (They are really beautiful and are hand-made by the families in Myanmar).
4. Contact Claudia Wreyford at 916-944-2225 with any questions or to adopt this project in your church.
The Church on Cypress in Carmichael has partnered with The Church on the Rock in Canada for many years. We need churches who, as part of their mission activities, would be willing to join us in supporting the mission churches in Myanmar. This project provides financial support for a lay pastor seminary (training 70-90 men from 15 outlying villages) as well as aiding Christian families being persecuted there. 
The families are making Kumihimo (braided) Bracelets which will then be offered for sale through churches here in the US. 100% of all monies collected go to the mission in Myanmar. There are no administrative costs. All work here is done by volunteers. 
We currently have 1,000 bracelets ready for sale, we just need your help by including this as one of your mission projects.  Here are links to both the informational video available for your use and to pictures/information on the Myanmar Mission activities:
Video:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjJOvrW90So&feature=em-upload_owner
Click here: Myanmar Mission Pictures Or:https://goo.gl/photos/kYjMkiEmcWw9QHqU6 
Here is a picture of the Pastors Class in Myanmar


Calendar
September
15    Pastors and Wives movie preview
        I Can Only Imagine at The Church on Cypress
        5709 Cypress Ave., CarmichaelRSVP to SRBN

29   Deep Love Live Simulcast with Drs. Les and Leslie Parrot
       Take a step toward deepening the marriages in your church
       Call 1-888-235-7948 for more information
       Video about the seminar 

30   Prepared to Answer: Where Faith and Culture Collide, Simulcast
       with Lee Strobel and Mark Mittelberg, Inciite Events

October
1-3   11th Annual Adult Conference
         First Baptist Church of Orangevale
         8998 Central Avenue (at Pecan Avenue)
         916-988-1139 or email fborangevale@hotmail.com 

2-5  Pastor & Ministry Leader Retreat
       Camp Cazadero, $115 (includes 4 days, 3 nights, & 8 meals)
       http://www.csbc.com/events/6th-annual-pastor-ministry-leader-retreat

    Pastor and Staff Lunch
      12:00-1:30 pm, Bring your lunch
       Roseville Baptist Church, 1301 Coloma Way

5-7   Beth Moore - Living Proof Live and You Lead Training
         More information: lifeway.com/livingproof  or lifeway.com/youlead
         or call 800-254-2022


6-8   Mother/Daughter Retreat at Jenness Park
        Pricing, details, and online registration at
        http://www.csbc.com/events/mother-daughter-retreat-2017

13-23  Malawi Mission Trip with Internatonal Commission
           Contact Sonia Burnell  at soniab@IC-World.org or 916-784-2372

14    2nd Saturday Outreach
        www.thegracenetwork.org
        10 AM - 1st Time orientation

19    SRBN Annual Celebration
        7 pm 

21    Piercing the Darkness 
        A faith-fueled summit for those on the frontline
        of empowering and protecting children from
        social injustice and human trafficking
        FREE, at The Artisan 
        Info and registration
        Contact: Chris Stambaugh
        chris@thegracenetwork.org (916) 952-7880

24-25  CSBC Annual Meeting
           Magnolia Church, Riverside, CA
           For More information: http://www.csbc.com/events/csbc-annual-meeting-2017

November
7   Minister and Staff Lunch
     12 pm to 1:30 pm, bring your own lunch
     Roseville Baptist Church, 1301 Coloma Way

11    2nd Saturday Outreach
        www.thegracenetwork.org
        10 AM - 1st Time orientation

December
1-2  Disaster Relief Roundtable for Cal Blue Caps
       More details: http://www.csbc.com/events/dr-blue-caps

5   Minister and Staff Lunch
     12 pm to 1:30 pm, bring your own lunch
     Roseville Baptist Church, 1301 Coloma Way

9   2nd Saturday Outreach
     www.thegracenetwork.org
     10 AM - 1st Time orientation

28-30  Ignition Student Conference
          Sacramento Convention Center
          Learn more: https://www.studentignition.com/


Announcements

11th Annual Adult Conference


Please join us at the 11th Annual
Adult Conference
Fun, Fellowship, and Spiritual Renewal
October 1-3, 2017

First Baptist Church of Orangevale is hosting its eleventh annual Adult Conference on October 1-3. Everyone is welcome to this free event.

The conference begins Sunday, October 1, at 4:00 PM, with a barbecued chicken picnic provided by First Baptist Church of Orangevale. At 5:00 PM, worship leader John McDaniel will lead us in a “Songfest” of favorite hymns and choruses.

At 6:00 PM there will be a time of worship led by John, followed by a message from our keynote speaker Dr. Carl Morgan, pastor of Woodland United Fellowship, archaeologist, and Director and Curator of the Woodland Museum of Biblical Archaeology.

The conference continues Monday and Tuesday mornings with breakout sessions starting at 9:30 AM and a coffee break at 10:30 AM. A time of worship begins at 11:00, followed by another inspiring message. Each day will end with lunch. Monday’s is provided by First Baptist Church of Orangevale, and Tuesday’s is a potluck.

First Baptist Church of Orangevale is located at 8998 Central Avenue (at Pecan Avenue). For more information, call 916-988-1139 or email fborangevale@hotmail.com 

California Mission Offering
September is California Mission Offering month: a Season of Prayer and Offering for California Missions.
 
Since the entire month is designated for California missions, churches are encouraged to use materials – poster, bulletin insert/prayer guide, videos and other resources – to observe the prayer and offering emphasis throughout the month.
 
Theme for 2017 is “It Begins With You" based on Acts 1:8. The goal for the 2017 Offering is $375,000. Gifts to the offering will support church starting, healthy church evangelism projects, disaster relief and mission action, associational projects and mission support.

Purposes for the offering are to:

  • Educate California Southern Baptists concerning the urgent need of reaching our state for Jesus Christ.
  • Encourage California Southern Baptists to pray for California missions and state missionaries who work with churches to share the Gospel.
  • Encourage California Southern Baptists to go on mission and share their faith.
  • Encourage California Southern Baptists to give so missionaries and ministries throughout the state can be deployed to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ
Pastors and Staff Retreat

October 2-5, 2017
Camp Cazadero
$115 (includes 4 days, 3 night, and 8 meals)
Details and online registration: http://www.csbc.com/events/6th-annual-pastor-ministry-leader-retreat 

SRBN Annual Celebration, October 19, 2017 at 7pm! 

Meeting site to be announced soon.

Dr. Bob Lewis will be the featured speaker at the Sacramento Region Baptist Network annual meeting and celebration. 

Your congregation should elect your messengers to come, share, and vote on items related to SRBN.

 

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